Even when I am surrounded, I feel alone. It’s like a curse since my childhood. And I can’t pretend to love or do certain things for the sole purpose of being appreciated by others. It’s only me. I am the puzzle piece that doesn’t fit with the others. I don’t have friends anymore. You know what kills me the most is that I have always been present in their difficult times. And the only time I dared confide in (because I felt bad, very bad) my friend told me ‘it will get better’ and she started talking to me about his problems as if mine were not. I asked myself why we’re friends? What unites us? What we have in common? I am not an expert on relationships friendships but I know that if you’re friends with someone, you care. Things happen naturally without begging. I realize that the people with whom I used to stay made me weak. Now I struggle to open up to others and trust them. I am like a turtle in its shell. I don’t deserve to be alone but I feel like I’ve screwed up everything. I am a young adult and sometimes I wonder what the fuck I do now?